Words by John Prosser. Photos by David Roth.
Probably shouldn’t be telling you this but there is a ride in Portland, Oregon that is fast becoming a legend. I am guessing you have never heard about it? Well, that is just fine with us!
We all receive them, those emails inviting us to join an event. Perhaps it’s a group ride promising a certain distance or speed, or it’s a flyer for a race or some new gimmicky ‘Grand Fondo’ with some cycling rock star offering T-Shirts and medals.
So it was with a certain indifference I opened up an email sent by a team mate titled “The Annual Ronde Van West Portlandia”. However I followed a link to a website and took a quick look. My team mate said it was not to be missed but nothing really looked particularly special from the website, in fact I didn’t really understand what all the fuss was all about? What I did notice from the brief website (http://www.rondepdx.com/) was that this ride was unofficial, unsanctioned, unhosted, unpermitted and practically unannounced. The idea of the ride according to one of the organizers was “to keep things organic, low-key, non-commercial, fun and challenging. A non-event, really... just a bunch of friends riding together to check out some new routes. Just make sure people know the route is horribly hard”.
I was wondering why I had not heard about it before? I needed to know more. I sent a few emails to team mates who all replied that it was not to be missed! It was epic, brutal and held in awe by all the cycling crazy Portlandias. But come on how tough can it be? It’s only 47 miles with some hills right? Ok some steep hills – no worries I love climbing!
I rode out from home and met the riders at the top of the first climb after they had completed around 5 miles. The “road” was actually a rutted lose footpath through a park and the riders arrived on muddy bikes gasping for air. I noticed the usual suspects from the colorful racing scene here – The Gentle Lovers turned up looking as dapper as ever, Team S & M turned up on mass in their distinctive strip complete with a Dominatrix on the rear of their jersey. My team finally arrived and we were off followed by a few stragglers from the Filth & Fury Team.
I was now embarking on the 6th edition of a ride that Brad Ross and Hugh Givens began in 2008, inspired by the Tour of Flanders. Evidence of the connection was shown with the flag of Flanders, called the Vlaamse Leeuw ("Flemish Lion"), being proudly displayed around the course; in fact it was spray-painted on the pavement at every intersection directing the hundreds of us on our journey through the west hills.
There were around 20 hills to climb so it was not long before we hit the next on the list. Now I like hills, I climb ok being light and I rode probably the best climbing bike out there but when I hit the Brynwood Lane climb and looked up I had a scare. This was steep – I clicked into my 39 x 25 and set off up the narrow climb as my heart rate quickly climbed to my maximum. The grade was perhaps 22% and as it got steeper as we navigated a tight corner. Wallop, we hit 31% maybe even steeper! To avoid falling over, I was forced to seek refuge in flat driveways on the way up; I had to circle around gasping until I could build up the courage to dart out of one driveway and struggle best I could until I reached the next temporary respite. It was a battle ground, riders were zigzagging up the best they could trying to avoid one another. Riders were forced to walk while others simply fell over. A few who were correctly geared and capable of generating the required wattage made it straight up to become instant heroes.
At the top my teammates were all unable to speak as they waited for me to leap frog my way up to them. “So that was the toughest climb?” I tried to ask. I received a look from them that installed a sense of foreboding as we set out down the steep rutted descent.
I lost my sense of direction as we twisted and curved around the west hills hitting climb after climb. Now I like climbs – I never walk up climbs. Damn another climb! There was no respite as the descents were also steep and challenging with deep ruts and pot holes to avoid; one moment of loss of concentration would result in a nasty fall. For this ride you need a bike that as well as good on the climbs can descend securely and bring you to a stop when needed. You needed a bike for all the conditions this ride would constantly throw at you and not fall apart!
It was getting warm and thankfully the locals were out in force. No, not complaining about any inconvenience caused by all these cyclists, no this is Portland baby. You see this day was after all a celebration of the Tour de Flanders in Belgium and Belgium (like Portland) is also famous for its beers! So, in true Flemish style we had beers offered to us by the locals!. Yes, I know it’s not the riders drinking the beers over there but Portland has a habit of adding their own twists to some of the European cycling traditions and making them even better! The unofficial rest stops were like an oasis between the climbs with their vertical pains. Kids serving lemonade and adults serving beer, garden hoses and peanut butter sandwiches were all gratefully received. On my Diablo road bike I descended technical sections of mud and stone-littered single tracks hoping my tires would retain their air. This ride challenges your vertical persistence and equally your ability to safely make it back down the other side!
The temperature was now in the mid 80’s and more beer was being handed out by more and more friendly locals clapping and cheering whilst enjoying the sun and ‘suffer fest’ on their door step. The beer looked tempting and I decided that a few sips might help my lactic acid filled legs?
I stopped frequently to take pictures of the more scenic stretches of road with wonderful views of Mt Hood, Mt St Helens and as far as Mt Rainer on this spectacularly clear day.
The next climb hit me and I was really struggling now – I started to hate climbing. I knew now why this ride had inspired, Incredibly Steep, a great YouTube video recap that has been viewed nearly 12,000 times so far.
Our team ride of 7 brave souls had disintegrated and I was alone quietly hoping for a flat section. I was now tantalizingly close to the radio tower on Council Crest marking the end of the Ronde. As I started to have hope it was all going to end I would be directed by those Flanders Lions to descend again, knowing all to well, that this would result in yet another bottom gear, slow motion climb back up. Finally I made my way up to the final point at the top of the final, final hill offering views of our beloved Mt Hood from the finish line party. My Garmin said the 47 miles had taken me up and over 7,725 feet! What an epic ride and a great day to be a cyclist in Portland!
http://www.mapmyride.com/routes/view/15276210
